Descriptive Reflection (Formal Introductory Letter)
Subject: Descriptive Reflection
Dear Prof. Blackstone,
My Name is Muhammad Zaki, but people normally just address me as Zaki. I'm a Mechanical Engineering student attending your Critical Thinking and Communication Class. I graduated from Singapore Polytechnic(SP) with a Diploma in Mechanical Engineering. My interest in Engineering begins ever since I started riding a Motorcycle, which slowly develops into an interest of tinkering/repairing/fixing of the motorcycle, which includes general knowledge of how a motorcycle engine works.
My strength which I am proud of is that I take an active role in listening. What this means is that I tend to listen and allow others to speak first or provide their POV before providing my input. This is so that whatever I am about to say, I have already taken into account their argument/point and I can craft my sentence around that. This helps to bring the discussion forward and provide meaningful insights for the party involved, instead of being a back-and-forth discussion where nothing of value was really brought forward/discussed.
However, a particular weakness of mine is that I develop anxiety when presenting to a large group. In fact, it doesn't even have to be a Large group. Generally, it could be a formal presentation where majority of the focus is on me. Having so many eyes and the focus of so many people on myself is something that I don't particularly excel in.
One of my major goal for this module would be to work on my anxiety. I would like to further develop my confidence, especially when it comes to meeting new people/giving a presentation, and I do not want my anxiety to hinder myself from communicating effectively. Secondly, I'd like to improve on non-verbal communication traits like maintaining Eye-contact. I have trouble maintaining prolonged eye-contact with people.
Being an active listener, it gives me the opportunity to work in a team. I can gather inputs and feedback from many others, before coming up with the right solution/method to carry on with the task at hand.
Yours Sincerely,
Muhd Zaki
Hi Zaki,
ReplyDeleteI find that you have answered all the necessary points. However I did notice some inconsistence in your email like some letters are capital when they shouldn't be. I also think maybe you might want to take a look at your last paragraph again as it does not flow/sound properly.
Hi Zaki, nice to read your letter. I find it great how you wrote your strength and weakness with proper explanation. What's even better is you have set a clear goal for this module. However, I do feel like you did not end your letter well in the last paragraph.
ReplyDeleteHey Zaki, I'm fairly sure I posted comments. Did you have to moderate them?
ReplyDeleteHello, nope. I didn't moderate any comments.
DeleteWell--some things just disappear into the ether. That's the world of the digital communication.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Zaki, for this informative letter. We learn, among other things, how your interest in engineering is tied to your passion for motorcycles. You connect that love of bikes to the mechanics of the machine, which is great. There's an inspiring book that you might be able to find online called "Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance." In it the author recounts in detail a trip across America by motorcycle, and how working on the bike was tied to his own development of
ReplyDeletea sense of appreciation of mechanics and his desire to better understand the machine. The whole thing becomes a sort of spiritual quest for him.
In this letter you also review ypur comm skills in quite a bit of detail. You tie these well to your goals. Rest assured we will give everyone plenty of chances in the coming weeks to present, which will hopefully lead to more confidence buillding for you as well.
Your language use here is good but there are a few issues that are worth revisiting:
1. overuse of caps
-- I'm a Mechanical Engineering student attending your Critical Thinking and Communication Class. > I'm a mechanical engineering student attending your critical thinking and communication class.
-- My interest in Engineering begins ever since I started riding a Motorcycle... > ?
-- to be a Large group. > ?
-- like maintaining Eye-contact > ?
2. verb issues
-- My interest in Engineering begins ever since I started.... > (inconsistent verb tense usage) ?
-- ...which slowly develops into an interest of tinkering/repairing/fixing of the motorcycle, which includes general knowledge of how a motorcycle engine works. >
(Try this:) which slowly has developed into an interest of tinkering with/repairing/fixing the motorcycle and now includes general knowledge of how a motorcycle engine works.
3. phrasing/word use
-- Having so many eyes and the focus of so many people on myself is something that I don't particularly excel in. > Having so many eyes and the focus of so many people on me is something that bothers me.
-- Being an active listener, it gives me the opportunity to work in a team. > (Is the ít'needed.) ?
I appreciate the hard work and look forward to hearing more from you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Thank you for the comment and feedback Sir. Reading back, i do agree that i overuse the caps, which i can improve on. Personally, I've never been too good on my verb tenses, which i hope to improve on in this module through your guidance.
DeleteI will improve on this letter and upload draft number 2 very soon.